"Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?" - Harrison Ford as Indana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark
Sarah's Dream Diary
M.H., is your mom ok?
Tuesday, October 25, 2005 15:24:26
First off, let me say that I can not stand it when I have dreams where someone I care about is hurt/injured/sick/dead. I don't usually have them either. Unfortunately, this dream is a case where I can't check on the person. If by chance someone who knows Mike #2 or Mike #2's mom, please tell them I hope they are doing ok. Not that there's ever anything to my dreams... it just makes me uneasy.
I dreamed last night I was riding in a car on the way to the movies (a beige car, so I know it wasn't mine and I certainly wasn't driving). There were at least two other people in the car with me, one being one of the "higher ups" at the company I work for (oddly). Even stranger, I was trying to teach them the Pythagorean Theorem to the tune of "Pop goes the weasel". It's the only way I can remember it : "X equals negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus four A C all over 2 A". I'll never forget it. Anyway, we took a detour to pick up some people, one of which happened to be my ex-bf Mike #2 who I've been dreaming about a lot lately and I wish he'd get out of my head. When I walked into the place that we were something was obviously wrong. There was a bed nearby and on it I saw his mother lying dead. I immediately started crying (I liked her a lot - she is a very nice woman) and went looking for Mike #2. When I found him, he seemed unaware of his mother's death, though I got the feeling something was wrong well before I showed up. I told him what I saw. Not a pleasant thing to do... particularly as an ex-girlfriend.
Next, we were all in a bookstore (there is one I sometimes dream about, but I don't think it exists... sort of a cross between all the Borders I've ever been in), including some other people who weren't previously in my dream. Several of them were people from Nick's wedding, including Mike #2's girlfriend who I was never introduced to (annoyingly). Out of everyone there she seemed to be the least affected -- laughing and having a good time while the rest of us were not so cheerful. We were all dressed in black (funeral I guess). I was going through books trying to hang around in the back and not get in the way (this group of people is not my circle of friends and I don't belong). Mike #2 came up to me and started talking like he wanted some comfort/sympathy but didn't want to ask for it. I remember being conflicted for a moment, thinking maybe if I were to be his friend now things would be different or better or the way they were... anything but what they are now. But instead I turned to him and I looked him in the eye, took a deep breath and said something like, "I'm not the one you should be talking to now. It's no longer my place to be here." From isle over, Mike #2's girlfriend giggled as she talked with another friend. Mike #2 looked at me a little confused but knew what I meant and faded away into white light as I woke up with the feeling I'd just thrown away a chance at a really great friendship, and accepting the loss for what it was.
At least my subconscious is trying to give me a bit of closure I guess. Of course my first thought upon waking was "is Mrs. Walters ok?" I'll never know.
